3 awful truths about sex

In the movies sex is that beautiful dream
sequence that happens between tender kissing
and waking up with make-up on. In real life it’s
like slapping steaks together in a musty cellar.
So Cosmopolitan decided to shed some light on
the ugly truths about real sex.
1. The puddle you cuddle in
When you have sex your lady gets wet and your
pathetic premature finale probably adds to the
disgusting cocktail you’ll be falling asleep in
afterwards.
2. Boob farts
Sometimes when you’re in the missionary
position the slapping together of two chests
creates a really unattractive squeezed fart sound
that’s not as funny as it might sound.
3. You’re thinking too hard
If you think too hard, you won’t get that way. Stop
concentrating on making your flagpole rise or you
will surely let down a nation with your half-mast
member.